nostalgic moments

When I am bored…..

carloverash — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 17:19:04 +0000

Just a blabber of non sense on an unsuspecting victim….

Me: Mr Kaleem….
Athar: yes
Me: how are you my dearest friend?
Athar: bored…. ….fyn…u?
Me: ME…
what can I say…
my life is an ongoing process of learning. The process never stops, we all grow…
not in size, but in mental maturity.
Athar: oo!!!!!!!
Me: yes…
You never know where life takes you. But you just have to enjoy the road.
You dont seem to be doing it my friend.
if you did, you would never be bored…
Athar: bored ke baad smiley :P nahi dekhi kya?
Me: Ahh….the smileys count for nothing.
I can understand the hidden meaning in your comments.
You have no automatics to concentrate on.
Athar: no…v r currently plannin 2 create a 3d animatn of an AT
Me: That is an absolutely amazing thing to do. It will be an enriching experience. It will help you learn how the complex mechanisms of planetary gearsets work in conjunction with the ECU.
Athar: thnkx fr d info…..sry bt m a bit busy nw
Me: oh..
how can one be busy and bored at the same time?
anyways enjoy your work. It will help you in establishing yourself as one of the finest auto engineers in the country.
I was really enthralling for me to talk to you about such important matters.
These moments of my life will always be cherished.
Athar: r u thinkin abt ur project?
Me: I always think about my project. It the end all, be all of my very existence on this great blue-green planet right now
Athar: k…byee
Me: bye. It was nice meeting you
I shall look forward to another chat.

Ten Reasons why I hate Sachin Tendulkar…

carloverash — Wed, 28 Jul 2010 12:06:32 +0000

1. He always plays a brilliant innings before my exam and hence doesn’t let me study.

2. Every time that I think of becoming an atheist, he gets into the nineties and I have no choice but to pray.

3. Every time I take a resolution not to bite my nails, he gets into the nineties and I am left with no choice but to chew on my nails.

4. He keeps all the records to himself.

5. He makes a lot more money and fame than me.

6. He costs way too much on ‘super selector’ but since I have to pick him, the rest of my team gets weakened.

7. During a match, invariably when I want to go to the bathroom, he hits a boundary and hence I have no choice but to sit and watch the replay.

8. As soon as I convince myself that God does not exist, he plays a straight drive and proves me wrong.

9. He brings the whole country to a standstill whenever he bats

10. And the last and the biggest reason why I hate Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar …

He is going to retire sometime in the future…

Mother Nature and Indian Railways

carloverash — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 12:59:00 +0000

I was headed to Nasik to meet my uncle. the season being monsoon, and I so trigger happy, somethings make great cybershots…

The Adventures of God

carloverash — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 08:49:18 +0000

I
God: Noah, all the people of earth are sinners. You alone are righteous.
Noah: Thanks God. Long time fan, first time prophet.
God: So, I have decided to smite the entire world with a flood.
*pauses*
Noah: Couldn’t you just teach man goodness?
God: No. I’m thinking “flood”.
Noah: So you’d rather just kill every–
God: What part of “flood” do you not understand?

II
God: Moses…I have seen the plight of the Jews in Egypt.
Moses: Wow. Only after, uh, 400 years there, right?
God: Yes.
Moses: Awesome.
God: I will take you out of Egypt after ten terrible, terrible plagues.
Moses: …ten?
God: Is there a problem?
Moses: It’s just…ten is a lot. For, you know, God. Couldn’t you get this done in like, two plagues max?
God: No. For you see Moses, I will harden Pharaoh’s heart against me.
Moses: So…you are going to stop him from letting us free from slavery.
God: Yes.
Moses: So you can bring more terrible, terrible plagues upon the people.
God: Yes.
Moses: And you see nothing wrong with this picture?
God: …
Moses: Are there any other God’s up there I can talk to?

III
Mary: Did you send the child support?
God: Frankincense and myrrh. Yeah.
Mary: Annnnnd?
God: *sighs*. And gold. And the gold.
Mary: That’s better.

IV
Job: …
God: Well, this is awkward.

V
God: Abraham, you must circumcise yourself.
Abraham: As you wish, my lord.
God: Oh my Me. He’s totally going to do it.

Madrid to splash on Özil

carloverash — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 14:44:52 +0000

In the latest development, Fake Madrid president, Florence Perez, has revealed his interest in signing German wünderkind Mesut Özil.
Perez is reportedly lining up a $100 million move for the highly rated Werder Bremen youngster. He was quoted by Fake Madrid Unofficial Mouthpiece, Farca, as saying, “We signed Ronaldo, but all that sissy does is dive around. And that Kaka’, can’t do jack shit, always injured, can’t play. We need playmakers. We’ll make sure we extract every penny of the money spent before he finally gets wasted in two years’ time.”
Madrid reportedly spent 250mil Euros on transfers last summer, including the high-profile transfers of Man Utd star Ronaldo, AC Milan playmaker Kaka’, Lyon striker Benzema and Liverpool lynchpin, Alonso. No one has performed to their potential. Thus they finished 2nd to Barcelona (again).
Newly appointed muppet manager Jose “The Special One” Mourinho said: Mesut is an excellent player. I am lucky to have him here”
Mourinho also dismissed suggestions that he’ll impose his strict defence tactics at Madrid. “They just don’t make good defenders here. the defence sucks. I’ll put just 6 in defence. that is attacking”, said The Special One who is due to be sacked, as per the custom, at the end of the season

When you cross my mind…..

carloverash — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 09:16:02 +0000

There is a time when I lounge for you. You are my very raison d’être. Talking to you makes me forget all the things that bother me. Why are you so close to me…yet so far away? Why is it that I think I have the whole world when I am with you, but I can’t get my mind off you when I am not? Why is it that I can’t concentrate on my work, after you have left me? Why do you leave a blank void in my usually cheerful life when you leave?
Am I ever going to be normal again? I have had plenty of crushes, but never one like this. Never has my world filled up with joy at one instant and drained all out the next. I have never had the same feeling of love for anyone else, but her. But I don’t know how she will react. Why am I afraid of failure? For the first time in my life….

History Repeats Itself

carloverash — Mon, 12 Apr 2010 16:40:42 +0000

On 24th February, 2010, exactly twenty two years after the infamous world record school-boys batting partnership was set, the same culprit committed another one of those heinous acts which have made him a loath figure among luminaries such as the flamboyant former batsman Sanjay Manjrekar, captain marvel Michael Atherton, stroke-maker extraordinaire Ian Chappell, and that model of fair play- Moin Khan.
The selfish streak in India’s opener came to the fore once again, as without any care for his fellow batsman and opposition, Tendulkar selfishly marched to a world record held by former Pakistani great, Saeed Anwar. What was worse was that Tendulkar had the temerity to score almost 99% of his runs with five overs still left, and then left the death overs for Dhoni to deal with it. It really exemplifies the sort of bloke Tendulkar is. A minnow basher, who can’t handle the pressure of playing well for the last five overs of an ODI, which as everyone knows, is the most challenging aspect of the game, as opposed to the cake walk that the first forty five are!
The most glaring part of the innings would undoubtedly be the opposition that he chose to fill his boots again. The fact that he picked minnows South Africa, team of the world’s most overrated Test bowler, Dale Steyn, to selfishly grab the record, makes it all the more inviting for the aforementioned quartet to lay into Tendulkar, not to mention other unnamed critics to call him a minnow basher.
It is a proven fact that Tendulkar lacks the calibre to perform against the bigger and better teams. Tendulkar has proven his love for minnows time and again, with cowardly centuries against Bangladesh, Zimbabwe, Australia, England, Sri Lanka and West Indies. His latest exploits against the newest minnows of world cricket, South Africa, will definitely cement his reputation as a bully of the highest calibre.

from www.sachinism.com

Important Notice.

carloverash — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 19:13:41 +0000

Extremely important recommendations for wives, girlfriends, fiancées, mothers, sisters and daughters who have a football fan at home.

1. From 11th June to 11th July, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions.

2. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, for an important reason such as preparing snacks or getting in the beers, I don’t mind, as long as you crawl along the floor.

3. During the games I will be blinkered to match. You cannot expect me to listen to you, open the door or answer the telephone.

4. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on.

5. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say ‘ get over it, it’s only a game‘, or ‘don’t worry, they’ll win next time‘. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so-called ‘words of encouragement’ will only lead to a break up or divorce.

6. The replays of the goals are very important. I don’t care if I have seen them or I haven’t seen them, I want to see them again. Many times. More so if they are scored by Bastian Schweinsteiger, Fernando Torres or Steven Gerrard. Argentina will be out in the first round, so Messi wont have much to contribute.

7. Tell friends and relatives not to have parties or gatherings that require my attendance because I will not go, I will not go, and I will not go. However, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

8. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. The daily football season highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even say ‘but you have already seen this…why don’t you change the channel to something we can all watch?

9. And finally, please save your expressions such as: ‘Thank God the football world cup is only every 4 years’. I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Bundesliga, Champions League, Premier League, etc.

Thank you for your co-operation.:)

Deutschland über alles!!!

You’ll Never Walk Alone

carloverash — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 18:35:39 +0000

Dear children,

Today it is me,the one who once made you proud and happy.Today it is me, the one who taught you to always hold your head up high.Today it is me, who channeled your passion and made you see beyond the boundaries of religion, race and countries.

Today, I am falling. My trusted servants have been bruised and their confidence lies in tatters. Today I see my faithfuls pointing fingers at each other. Today, I see them abusing my most loyal supporter, the Spaniard who restored me to the height where i was two decades ago.
Yes, today i have fallen on my knees. Yet, it is not the bruised knees that hurt me. It is the sight that my trusted followers, my children of the yore and the fore doubt my abilities.

All i want to say is- Today is just a day….tomorrow will come….at the end of the storm,is a golden sky and the sweet silver song of the lark.
Remember Istanbul? It took me just 6 minutes to restore back the pride that had been severed in the entire decade?
Remember Olympiakos? It was me who didn’t let the greatest captain wake up in the UEFA cup.
Remember the five we scored when we munched on the Toffes in the oldest English cup?
Remember Shankly?
Remember Paisley?
Remember the Spice Boys?
Remember the Glory ?
Remember the Greatest Nights of Europe?
It was all me.
Who am i? Haven’t you guessed?
I am Red. I am Liverpool Football Club.
I have always held your hand.Today, i need you to hold mine. Don’t let it go.
I need you today.
~in the Rafa we trust~

[No idea about the source]

The Modern Ant and Grasshopper

carloverash — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 15:34:48 +0000

I got this as a forwarded e-mail, long back, but still felt i ought to share it, although its mostly known to everyone

OLD VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed. The grasshopper has no food or shelter so he dies out in the cold.

MODERN VERSION: The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant’s a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.

NDTV, BBC, CNN show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.

The World is stunned by the sharp contrast. How can this be that this poor grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?

Arundhati Roy stages a demonstration in front of the ant’s house. Medha Patkar goes on a fast along with other grasshoppers demanding that grasshoppers be relocated to warmer climates during winter. Amnesty International and Kofi Annan criticizes the Indian Government for not upholding the fundamental rights of the grasshopper.

The Internet is flooded with online petitions seeking support to the grasshopper (many promising Heaven and Everlasting Peace for prompt support as against the wrath of God for non-compliance). Opposition MPs stage a walkout.

Left parties call for “Bharat Bandh” in West Bengal and Kerala demanding a Judicial Inquiry. CPM in Kerala immediately passes a law preventing Ants from working hard in the heat so as to bring about equality of poverty among ants and grasshoppers.

Lalu Prasad allocates one free coach to Grasshoppers on all Indian Railway Trains, aptly named as the ‘Grasshopper Rath’.

Finally, the Judicial Committee drafts the Prevention of Terrorism Against Grasshoppers Act [POTAGA], with effect from the beginning of the winter.

Arjun Singh makes Special Reservation for Grass Hopper in educational Insititutions & in Govt Services.

The ant is fined for failing to comply with POTAGA and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government and handed over to the grasshopper in a ceremony covered by NDTV.

Arundhati Roy calls it “a triumph of justice”. Lalu calls it ‘Socialistic Justice’. CPM calls it the ‘revolutionary resurgence of the downtrodden’ Kofi Annan invites the grasshopper to address the UN General Assembly.

Many years later…The ant has since migrated to the US and set up a multi billion dollar company in Silicon Valley. Hundreds of grasshoppers still die of starvation despite reservation somewhere in India.